the books that made me who i am ~

hello, my angels ~

today, i come to you all with a different kind of post, separate from my normal reviews. i’ve been toying with this idea for a while, but i finally decided to make this post after seeing Cups and Thoughts’ own post! i’ve loved their instagram feed for so long and after finding out that they had a blog, i’ve been reading some posts, this one included and i finally decided to do my version! (i highly recommend their blog [and other social media]!)

so, today, i’ll be sharing with you all the books that had a hand in making me . . . me.

alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis carroll

i’ve heard it’s best to start from the beginning and if that’s so, than Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is my beginning.

i remember reading the shortened, child version of the story when i was young and i fell in love from there.

the idea of the impossible being everywhere, so close it might as well be suffocating you, has been something that

i’ve been chasing since i first read it. this book was the one that first made me believe in the power of an impossible story, the power of escapism, and the power of a freshly-brewed cup of tea.

six of crows duology by leigh bardugo

literally no one is surprised.

this series got me back into reading when i needed it the most. the memory of me pulling six of crows off the shelf is still so vivid in my mind. at that point in my life, i hadn’t picked up a book that had truly made me feel something in quite a while.

but if alice’s adventures in wonderland showed me what books could do for a person, this series reminded me of it.

i think maybe, just maybe, this series gave me something to believe in again — right when i needed it the most.

this, plus the amazing plot and characters, have made it so this series is one that i could never forget.

the bone witch trilogy by rin chupeco

ah, the series that started it all.

if you’ve been around for a while (thank you wtf), then you may know that my first ever review, and the reason i began my blog, was because of the bone witch.

when i turned that last page, i craved another. but more than that, i craved to tell people about it — so i did. i told my mother, my grandmother, my best friend, and they were delighted to indulge me, but their eyes didn’t light up and their breath didn’t quicken — their soul didn’t brighten at the mention of a really good book. not like mine did. so i set out to write a review for this impossible book that people who understood the impossible, who were intimately close with it, would understand.

and here you are, so thank you.

the rest of the series gave me something to look forward to, if not just for the books themselves, but for me being able to share my thoughts about them with all of you. to me, it was almost like an anniversary. and even now, when the series is wrapped and finished (as finished as a really good story can be), quotes from that series still wrap themselves around me, the characters still find me, and this feeling of forever is always there.

i don’t know how much i believe in forever, but i do believe in books. and i believe that if the closest i ever get to forever is what i felt reading this book and what remains now that it’s over, i think i’ll be just fine.

(at this point, i’ve gotten oddly poetic which normally doesn’t come out here but it’s chill, we’ll just role with it)

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

ah, now for the book that i’ve been steadily forcing everyone i hold dear in the book world to read!

this book holds most of the things that i’m fascinated by — art, adoration, eternity, people and their intentions, so on.

. . .

do you ever have a book that you adore but for the life of you, you can’t explicitly state why that is? well, that sums up the picture of dorian gray to me.

i can tell you that i love this book, that i love how these ideas that i’m fascinated are discussed, but there’s something else there that i love that i can’t put a name to.

(maybe you should read it to find out ;)).

girl in pieces by kathleen glasgow

okay so we may be getting a little sad here and for that, i apologize.

i’ve uhhh been through some shit, as we all have.

one of the major things i’ve gone through is a central plot in this book and reading this, it was the first time i saw what i had gone through done so truthfully.

girl in pieces helped me close a door on a person i used to be, while also giving me the courage to not be ashamed of it.

the starless sea by erin morgenstern + the ten thousand doors of january by alix e. harrow

yes, i know that these two books aren’t connected in virtually any way, but they both represent the same thing to me so instead of being redundant, i’m grouping them together.

to me, both of these novels are love letters to stories and the worlds they have the potential to take us to.

being people like us, it’s sometimes difficult to portray what books mean to us in a way that truly shows how much they mean to us but these two books truly do that for me. if someone were to ask me what is so great about reading, if i could, i would give them one (or both) of these novels and just say, “read this. read this and tell me you weren’t enraptured. tell me you didn’t swear that you were someone else, somewhere else. tell me that you didn’t feel infinite or immortal or otherworldly.”

for someone who favors words over virtually everything else, i’m not good at expressing my emotions, even in writing and even about writing and words and stories. but these books are the closest i could ever get to showing another person how much stories mean to me.

that’s all for me, angels. i’m sorry i’ve been gone for so long.

until next time, whenever that is, don’t miss me too much 😉

— ash

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